A few historical markers of Uninformed Kindergarten Konservatism

We are not citizens of a nation founded by Konservative Intellectuals whose generational grandchildren prance and posture on our national stage nowadays.

To wit …

The American Revolution.

Approximately one third of the colonial population supported the English King George the Third. These Konservatives wanted no disruption. Afraid or trying to hang on to what they felt England had granted them, they did not want national independence. These Kindergarten Konservatives were not our original patriots.

Original American Konservatives supported protection of slavery in our Constitutional Convention. They wanted to count slaves in determining which states would be “slave states” but did not desire that they be citizens with voting rights.  These Kindergarten Konservatives in no way acted as Founding Fathers, rather as enforcers of their own power and influence at the expense of all others.

Our original Konservatives opposed tariffs to protect American manufacturing. In their Kindergarten-ness they were not able to understand any need to develop our own industrial base. They wanted no changes to a system based on cheap slave labor. They were not industrialists, but cash croppers – planters whose profits required no economic equality.

Our historical Kindergarten Konservatives supported “nullification”, which said that states didn’t have to enforce federal laws they didn’t like.  Sound familiar?

Our original Kindergarten Konservatives supported repeal of the Missouri Compromise so as to allow slavery in other states where votes and political clout was more vital than common good.

The ancestors of today’s Kindergarten Konservatives opposed the transcontinental railroad, primarily because railroads carried people who might want to work on their own land and who wouldn’t want or need slaves in the western territories because it might encourage small farmers who owned no slaves in future non-slave states.

Which is why the Grandpas and Grandmas of today’s Kindergarten Konservatives were against the Homestead Act. They didn’t want more land-owners turning the American West into a collection of non-slave states.

Those old Kindergarten Konservatives opposed freedom of speech for Southern opponents of slavery. Perish the thought that southern adults and children might hear something other than the Konservative gospel.

And so Kindergarten Konservatives full of pretend patriotism and self-promoting civic piety disagreed with our sacred declaration that “all men are created equal.”  Their Kindergarten civic ideology was that “the black man has no rights the white man is bound to respect.” (Dred Scott v. Sandford), quite possibly the most foolish Kindergarten Konservative legal decision in our national history.

… which led to a  Kindergarten Konservative support of destruction of the union rather than allow any restriction of slavery.

Konservatives were opposed the earliest civil rights legislation to enforce the 14th and 15th amendments. They obstructed, intimidated and harassed newly freed slaves who attempted to exercise their Federal civil rights, including the right to vote … and considered themselves god-fearing, civic-minded moral patriots.

Konservatives were against preserving the union. Back then they wanted secession and they got it.

Konservatives were also aggressively and brutally opposed to industrial workers forming unions. Sound familiar?

The ancestors of today’s Kindergarten Konservatives supported the acquisition of foreign colonies

… armed suppression of Filipino independence.

… opposed anti-trust legislation.

… opposed child labor laws.

… opposed universal free public education.

… opposed literacy for African-American citizens, in particular.

… supported the legal theory of “separate but equal”, a sham that led to the establishment of “Jim Crow” in the south.

… opposed state laws guaranteeing minimum wages and restricting working hours for industrial workers.

… opposed the right to vote for women.

These are the real Moochers among us

These are the Kindergarten worshipers of that false American Exceptionalism that has cause more global and national grief than any noble achievement in the past 60 years.

These are the believers that uncompromising anger is civic wisdom, that blind and unblinking opposition is always better than compromise.

Look where it got them.

Look where it didn’t get us quickly enough.

Friday Sept 18, Enemies of Mankind and other doofus antics

Performance-based minds seem to distrust intellectuals among them.

Glenn Beck: If you have a degree in journalism, ‘you’re an enemy of mankind’

Me, Glen and Donald are Aginst Them Intellectchals!

Good mornin to all you online mocha-snarfin tree-huggin progressive political popper-offers.

I don’t write as often as Donald tweets cause he’s a bigger blabber mouth than me and blowhards here in rural America ain’t limited to the real hard-blowin wind that knocks out the electricity.
Me and Donald ARE agin intellectchals!

Only problem is that Donald has got a lot more of em to be aginst than I do. I can’t list all them folks who act smarter’n Donald. There’s so many of them to check out, I rue the day the little woman bought me this computer ta take my mind offa other things (like a smootch er two).

But Donald’s got it worse. He has more a them smart folks ta deal with than I do and it ain’t no help with the mental midgets who talk fer him in Congress and the press conferences.

I try to run and hide from bein compared to a few a them blowhards, guys like Flush Limbaugh, Factor O’Reilly, Sqawk Hannity, that  Beck duffer (his talkin is downright mean) and another lady who makes a career of startin bar fights by agree-in with the dumbest guy in the bar who says the dumbest stuff. Think her name is Malkin or somethin like that.

All them lightweights are kinda funny soundin cause they say it all in a high-falootin way that gives me the hint that they know stuff.

Then I read on an git reminded of the loudest talkers at the Elk Snout Tavern – you know the kind – they talk the most, say the least and want everybody to buy their drinks.
No sir, I don’t envy DONALD and all those intellectchals he’s got to deal with.
Dang smarty pantsers they are. Keep writin and askin questions Donald don’t wanna answer.

I’m sure Donald has got answers, but like on TV last week, sometimes them answers just leave im. When that happens, all ya need ta do is sit down real hard and the answer will bounce up from where ya normally keep it and land right in yer mind.

Come ta think of it, I betcha that’s why Flush, Factor, Sqawk, Beckr and Malkin all talk the way they do with the best stuff comin out when they’re sittin down. They probably just sit down hard, open their mouths and whup!……. out comes the hot air.

Well Donald, I’ll do my part here to smack them intellectchals (takes me 2 minutes just to type that word) while you go ahead and take on all them that are after ya.
Only one piece of advice Donald, try not to get that blank look on yer face when yer on national TV.

If ya have to, git Elmer Fuddly Pence to stand up there with ya. I hear yer more willin to be talkative if he’s there to help out. He’ll whisper outta the side of that mouth I saw him twist when he was warning us gun-toters about Antifers fixin ta take away our insult rifles or whatever kind of gun that Charlton Heston’s cold white fingers wouldn’t let go of.

Dumb people choose dumb stuff. That’s why they are called dumb.

“The fatal assumption was that Americans would choose to think and learn, instead of cherry picking the blogs and TV channels to reinforce their particular branded choice cultural ignorance, consumer, scientific or political, but especially political.
Tom [Jefferson] and Ben [Franklin] could never have guessed we would chase prepackaged spectacle, junk science, and titillating rumor such as death panels, Obama as a socialist Muslim and Biblical proof that Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs around Eden. In a nation that equates democracy with everyman’s right to an opinion, no matter how ridiculous, this was probably inevitable. ” Joe Bageant

“Cultural stupidity might not be so bad, were it not self-reproducing and viral, and prone to place stupid people in charge. All of us have, at some point, looked at a boss and asked ourselves how such a numb-nuts could end up in charge of the joint. ” -Joe

A “defender of the faith” apparently unaware that our own numeral system is the Arabic, wrote this:
it’s only funny until you have been to Arab nations and learn our “arabic numerals and their/there Arabic numericals are NOT the same. Theirs make sense only when you lie down and squint because they are sideways horizontal…not vertical and upright….(at least the few I knew) for example their “3” looks like our lower case “m.”
Well hell, no WONDER why that poll result occurred. 57 per cent of those who took the poll had experienced lying down and squinting to read the numerals.

Wit-Match Duels with the Unarmed

Unfriending people when you can't match wits but that's none of my ...

From Jeremy Sherman, Alternet:

There are lots of things to try in our pressing mission to tool up quickly to disappoint trolls.

Overwhelm and overload: Trolls often treat their game as a war of attrition, wearing you down with things you have to answer for and explain. Return the favor. Ask them questions and ride them with unceasing demands and impatience. “He still hasn’t answered my questions.”

Chide relentlessly:Mock, deride, ridicule, tease, piss them off in an endless gusher. They like to have it both ways, that you fight unfairly and you don’t know how to fight. Show them that you know how to fight.

Do not enable:Never ever talk to them as though you expect an honest answer from them. Don’t say “do you really believe X?” because it implies that you can take the troll’s word for anything, when, of course, you can’t. It’s like asking psychopaths what they really think. It’s enabling. This is the biggest mistake high-level interviewers make. They ask professional psychopaths like Kelly Anne Conway, “Really? Do you mean that?” Every time they do that they reinforce the false impression that their right-wing guests are credible, not the professional liars they are.

Do not try to persuade them that they’re what they are: Our civic loyalty has made us slow to diagnose their problem and even today we still report evidence as though mounting a case that we’re dealing with a pathological cult. We read these reports as if arms us to argue with the trolls. That’s a strategy whose time has gone. The evidence is all in. Assume that’s what you’re dealing with and never try to persuade them of their hypocrisy with some litany of hypocrisies.

Don’t accuse, assume: Use the equivalent of that classic trick question posed to an unwed man, “How long ago did you stop beating your wife?” Bury you’re assertion as an assumption. Don’t say “You’re a liar” say “I wonder when and how this guy first figured out that he can give himself a headrush boner by lying. Was it that he never grew out of  brat-hood or that he revived it when he started sucking off the tits of his new role models?”

Coach/patronize them about how to be a more effective troll:  If someone shows up guns ablazing about “you libtard socialist idiots,” say, “no, that’s not how you do it. First, you have to lure me with something reasonable sounding. Remember the exhibitionists you idolize sidle up first, makes a little pretend-reasonable conversation and only then show off his pointy little resolve. Don’t open your trench coat as you approach. Practice, grasshopper, practice.”

Aikido shaming:  Act as though you assume that they have exactly the traits that they’re prejudiced against, even if you abhor their prejudice. For example, in response to a religious troll who tries to taunt with a gay-bashing “who is your husband?” “I know you’re lonely and horny to impress or else you wouldn’t keep rambling and strutting to show off to me. I’m sorry I can’t be your husband. You’ll always have Jesus though.”

Don’t just accuse them of hypocrisy, hang them with it: When they play moral police, accusing you of violating some sacrosanct no-compromise moral principle, say “Great. I’ll put this guy  down as someone who claims harassment, criticism of Presidents, complaining and victimhood is always wrong. When they violate their own principle, just mark it as obvious hypocrisy and move on. They’ll try to rationalize it (“Me bashing Obama is totally different!”) ignore it.

Use their shaming words, not yours: They’re vaccinated against your shaming words but not their own. Call them sinners, unpatriotic, un-American, snowflakes, PC-police, the anti-Christ. Do so with feigned authority that matches theirs. Don’t even think about backing down.

Hit below the belt: Shame them with humiliating sexual innuendo. It infuriates them. Trolling is exhibitionist masturbation. It’s their horny lust for right-wing pundits. It’s fantasy about swinging a big dick. Feel free to make them feel dirty and low.

Keep ‘em guessing: Switch tones with them at will but not because you’re bending to theirs. Switching confuses them and demonstrates that you don’t have emotional inertia. Feel free to switch back to your real self, providing instant provisional reward if they start to sound genuinely receptive (which is different from them supplying “reasons” why they’re right) and to switch right back the moment they return to troll-talk. Duck and weave. Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.

Obverse Psychology: And don’t be stung – defensive in response to their accusations. When they say “Ha! you’re sensitive,” as though sensitivity is a rare pathology they’re in a position to diagnose, say “Damned right I am, like you, like everyone, though maybe you’re too sensitive to admit it. The only question is whether I am sensitive in the right places or the wrong, a question you ignore when you pretending that insensitivity means you’re brave.” When they say “you’re biased” say “Damned right, like you like everyone.”

Ad absurdum:When they talk about how tough guys are winners and winning is everything, say, “So what’s your excuse? Since you’ve decided that winning is everything, why do you still live on a low rung? Why aren’t you a billionaire yet? I guess that even proud of having no conscience, you still don’t have what it takes to win.”

Tomorrow decides: Say, “notice that this guy assumes that the future is determined by insistence, as though winning a debate determines fate. That of course, means that he’s just mental masturbating, clueless to how reality works. Real cleverness recognizes that the future is not known and reality wins all debates. What’s funny is that this blowhard prognosticator is so nearsighted he can’t see beyond the immediate gloat. He’s not even planning ahead enough to cover his ass next week if and when he proves wrong.”

Triage: At the height of crisis, worthy causes get back-burnered. During Nazi occupation or the rape of Nanjing, there wasn’t much attention left for pet causes. It would have been a hard time to fundraise for PETA. We’re not used to such crises here in the US but the same applies. You may have committed yourself years ago to the cause that gives the most meaning to your life, or you may be burdened by one oppression or another. There are many oppressors now and we have to prioritize. In debate, don’t lose sight of true priorities. The top priority is keeping the troll epidemic from ending America before America ends it.

Keep your own counsel:  People often feel the need to prove to themselves that they’re decent by proving it to others. They say what in fact, they need to hear. Bring that mission to a debate with a troll and you’re lost. Stand your ground grounded in who you are and you can do what it takes in combat. Have calmfidence, a calm confidence  in the bets you place. If you’re wrong, live and learn, unlike these supposed freedom fighter, the only freedom they care about being the freedom for them to never have to rethink anything ever again. And have calmfidence in yourself. After troll baiting you may need to take a shower to wipe off the grime. You’ll find that when you do, you’re still there, the same decent person you’ve been trying to be all along.

Infinite empathy: Always be ready on a dime to make the troll’s case convincingly to him, not that you have to or should and of course, you don’t have to agree with it all, and you should be careful about when you actually do it. Don’t when a troll has got you on the run unless you want to prove that you hear him and to show him up because chances are he can’t make your case convincingly – he’ll keep trying to mock it. Nonetheless maintain that capacity for empathy.

Empathy charity: Being able to empathize like that requires that you keep a clutch pedal between it and charity. Many people forget this and end up thinking that they can’t afford to empathize. Instead, be able to make a case so a villain says “damn, you really understand me,” and then cut him down to size. Empathy should not force you into a charitable state of mind. It just makes you a better advocate and keeps you from becoming a troll yourself. Trolls wouldn’t be able to empathize, making their opponent’s case convincingly if their lives dependent on it. They think their lives depend on not empathizing with you total libtard.

For the record, people often tell me I’m a great listener, a fine conversationalist, excellent at give and take. Regardless of whether it’s true (We’d each be the last to know what we’re really like even when friends flatter like that), that’s my goal.

But I keep context in mind. Being aggressive and unreceptive with decent, receptive people is a mistake I’ve made and will make again. Being receptive with aggressive trolls is a mistake I’ll make again too. I’m trying to minimize both but in current context, being receptive with right-trolls is the greater evil, the mistake I’m aim to minimize most in this context. I’m giving much less benefit of the doubt in the midst of this hypocrisy coup.

It’s time to drop our earnest efforts to prove that we’re receptive. This is no time to take refuge in pious failure our heads held high because when they went low we stayed high on our moral platitudes. There’s a right wing troll epidemic going on. Get good at thwarting them and we’ll have a better chance of avoiding civil war.

Doofusness; The incumbent sitting Lame Duck American President and the pretend patriots who tickle the media fancy

It’s a vanity issue. For Mr. Trump that means he must satisfy Mr. Hannity, Ms. Coulter and these kind folks:

On Networks and Reporters Desperate for an angle 


Pike Boomdropper came by tonight to invite me to a public meeting. Said the the movers and the shakers in the neighborhood have decided that a body might not be a patriot if they’re not wearin a little lapel on their bib overalls when they go into the tavern to talk real man talk.

bugbike

Said his wife was setting up a special meeting of the Ladies’ Home Culture Club to draw up a petition for the village of Elk Snout to pass a resolution declaring the Democrats in the House of Representatives a bunch of  Arnold Benedicts to our country cause they aint got no flyin flutterin flag badge of courage on their coats and ain’t buying no dang national mergency .

Mr. Trump is wavin the flag and yellin “WOLF!” as a kind of dog call (ignore the pun) to members of his minority voting block whose IQ test scores were under the margin thereby qualifying them to be Maga-ites.

Ain’t you tired yet of desperate networks with desperate needs pushin the most trivial of topics might earn a buck?

Can you imagine all the cheeks-puffed, red-face pundit/patriots who’ve found more than one way to betray the public seating and groaning about whether or not screamin about a wall makes a fellow patriotic?

I do know that the Republican Party is full of patriots who advocated and voted for war and never served back when they could and who act like scared sissies running from a crowd of angry women.

I do know that some of the biggest chest-pounders for war based on flag-wavin have themselves been unwilling to put their boots where their mouths are.

I don’t watch much TV news anymore. Seems like they announce nothing but trivialities – you know, the mountain groans and labors and gives birth to a mouse

.

Hail The Irrelevant Broadcast Patriots

Come on fellars, come out of yer hidey holes.